Sunday, October 20, 2013
Open Prompts
2004 Student Responses
Student 1: I thought there essay was very well written. There were a couple of repetitive words and phrases like, "is this the best of all possible worlds" and "age-old", but that was the main issue that I noticed. They did a good job of analyzing the book that they read and also explained the meaning. The essay was well structured and thought out, as well as clear. I like how they explained what the character meant by "we must tend our garden" and how they related it back to the meaning of the entire piece. I think they did a wonderful job of finishing the essay, the conclusion talks about the meaning of the book as a whole and links even another piece of literature to Candide. The last criticism I have is that they didn't mention the author of the novel they were analyzing. Other than those couple things the essay was really good!
Student 2: The vary first thing that I noticed was how messy the essay is. This doesn't effect the content but I believe on something as important as the AP test you should write neatly. Than I noticed how short the first paragraph is, it needs more length so it can do a better job of setting up the rest of the essay. The first paragraph is very hard to read and doesn't give any real evidence towards the theme that the student is trying to back up. The second paragraph repeats some of what is in the first paragraph and the only thing that is relevant is in the last sentence. They did an okay job on the third paragraph and said some good things about the novel. In the conclusion the student talks about if the characters in Huckleberry Fin succeeded in finding freedom, I would like to hear the authors point of view on the question as well as the one given by the book. Overall I did not like the essay very much, it could have been done much more thoroughly.
Student 3:I thought the first paragraph was quite well written. I liked how the student said the title and the author and then immediately got to the point of the essay. I like how the student used specific events in the book they were analyzing to show how the theme fit with the novel, I thought it was well done and neatly executed. The student did explain the meaning which is very important. Although the essay is quite short and could have included more about DIDLS and how they are present in the book, the essay still gave a good analysis of the novel. I was surprised to see that the AP commentary gave it a three, I think it was better than that. I also don't know why they said the essay has promise but they gave it such a low score. I understand where the essay could have included more information but I think the student chose a good book and wrote a good essay.
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Kate,
ReplyDeleteJust for future reference, I think it would helpful if you could which student response you did just so that the people that are commenting on your post can know exactly what post you are talking about.
You did a good job analyzing the three essays. I like your personal opinions on each response. I agree that each post did a great job summarizing the story in order to answer the question that they presented, but I do have some criticisms for the responses. The responses were solely based off summarizing the stories, the writers lacked using DIDLS to back up their reasons. If they included those in their essay would have been strong. In the first essay, towards the conclusion the writer all of a sudden mentioned another poem without any set up for it. I do see how the writer connected the both poems but the setup could use more work. Finally, the third essay, the writer had a introductory paragraph, but the essay fell apart at the end. If the writer included a better summarization of the story to support the question they presented and supported that with DIDLS then the essay could have received a better score.
I did this one for my first open prompt--that is so weird! My first comment has to be on your typos. I know they're a small issue, but it is still a good idea to use the right "their" and "very." Also in the first essay, I don't think the first repeated phrase was an issue because that is the central question that they are referencing throughout their analysis. I agree with your analysis of the second, but I would like to point out that you never actually mentioned the meaning or central question referenced in any of your analyses. I tended to disagree with your take on the third one, however. Though the writer did have a pretty good introduction, I felt that they failed to sufficiently analyze the meaning of the text as most of their body paragraphs were summary. Other than that, you did a great job of analyzing these responses and providing good reasoning behind your views.
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