Open Prompts #4

2009 Responses

Student #1
The first thing I noticed is the handwriting, I know the students have to write fast and handwriting isn't really their fault but it's really annoying and distracting when trying to read an essay. The second thing is the student did show a strong theme statement in the introductory paragraph which is a good start. The rest of the essay is very well constructed and has evidence to back up the authors ideas about the piece they are writing about. Some of the sentences are a bit pompous and wordy but the content and connections behind them are good. The last paragraph sums up all of the students points effectively and connects them all back to the theme.

Student #2
The beginning of the essay is a bit hard to understand, the thesis statement could be stronger and the theme presented doesn't seem strong enough to be the overall theme of the novel the student is talking about. There are also a lot of words and some sentences crossed out in the essay, it usually wouldn't be something that would count against the student but in this case there is so much it seems like the student was not confident about what she was writing. The structure of the essay is good, the content flows from one paragraph to another but still could have stronger claims. The student is very repetitive with the phrase, "the strong desire to cover up the truth" and seems to be using the same type of sentences to cover up the lack of evidence toward the theme statement.

Student #3
I have serious issues with the first paragraph. It is already extremely repetitive with, "power and strength" in the first two sentences and says power again in the last. There are only four sentences in the paragraph! Than the student says, "in my opinion" which is awful, we already know its the students opinion so they don't need to tell the reader. The theme statement in itself is not really a theme statement at all saying, "it symbolizes a higher level in power and the man who carried it was an intimidating man". What does that even mean? That is not at all a theme statement and it makes me enraged that someone who took AP lit would think that it was. The rest of the essay is poorly written and doesn't connect back to the students "theme" hardly at all.

Mourning Mandela

South Africa Announces Weeklong Memorial to Mourn Mandela

By: Daniel Politi

 http://www.slate.com/blogs/the_slatest/2013/12/07/mourning_mandela_south_africa_announces_week_of_memorials.html

The author uses diction, details, and syntax to suggest that The former President of Africa was loved by many people and that Africa has suffered a great loss. The author makes the article very clear and to the point but it also makes the reader feel for the people who loved Mandela and relate to them as well. 

 In this emotional article about the death of the African President Nelson Mandela the author uses diction to suggest that the people loved their former leader and mourn his death. Politi uses words like "flock" and "pay tribute" to show that losing one of their own was a big event. The author also goes on to explain how the people will be putting on  a "week long series of events" using the words "week long" to state how much time and effort was being put into the memorial and not just saying "they were doing numerous things for the president" for example. 

 The details in the article further the idea that the people loved Mandela.  When the author says the people were "already paying their respects in diverse ways" it shows that they didn't wait for a formal memorial or funeral and were already started to mourn the president, it also shows that they were doing a lot of different things that may be more personal to one specific family. He also adds the quote "and form a public guard of honor" into the article to show that Mandela was not just respected but honored and needed a "guard of honor".

 The author uses syntax to add emphasis to the points in the article and add emotion from the people who loves Mandela. Politi uses many quotes from different sources to give a wider range of examples from different people. The author also uses punctuation to make the sentences flow better so you can focus on the information and the emotion in the piece. In this sentence, "Although many South Africans are already paying their respects in diverse ways, the week of mourning begins Sunday with a national day of prayer, followed by an official memorial service at a Johannesburg 90,000-seat stadium on Tuesday. " (Politi), the use of the commas make the reader focus on certain words like "diverse ways" and "prayer". The author is using syntax to make words stand out and emphasize them so the reader can feel the emotion of the people that lost their leader.

Politi is very successful in his use of literary techniques to get his main point of the article across. The use of diction, details and syntax stood out the most in the article and even with it being quite short Politi still made the article connect with the reader.